Since the story has a happy ending, let's start there. Our teacher, the Rabbanit Brachah Kapach zt"l taught us by modeling, to call God "HaShem Yitbarach", the name that should be praised. As she figures in the telling of this story I will use her vocabulary to state that with gratitude to HaShem Yitbarach, Michelle gave birth to a healthy baby boy on Friday afternoon, October 4 at 3:53 PM EDT, 5 Tishrei 5780. Mat and Judy were there playing active roles and Abby and I arrived soon after 3B (Baby Boy Barkan).
3B (he will get a name before next Shabbat, so this is what I'm calling him for now) was born on the day following his great grandfather's (my father's) seventh yahrzeit, while I'm in the year of saying kaddish for his great grandmother who died in July. If not doing something can be difficult, then not being able to call them to share the news was something that was mildly painful during this very joyful 40 hours so. It's just as Naomi Shemer, z"l described it in song - the sweetness of the honey comes together with the bee's sting. My father was also a professional mentor to me, so I feel his absence nearly daily.
3B is 7.5 pounds, 20 inches long, and as you can see in the photo above where I am holding him with his mouth open, we already started learning a few cantellation notes for his Torah reading.
Being born in Tishrei, especially between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur has its own set of merits and challenges. His birthday parties will always be tricky to plan as its a busy time of year in a family of Jewish professionals. Saba (my chosen title - his other grandparents are still figuring it out, but I didn't struggle in the least) is often working and traveling during this week, so this guy will have to be flexible from the start.
We already have a lot in common: we both like his parents, we both like being fed every two hours and then being put down for a nap, we don't particularly like being in hospitals. Now that Mat, Michelle and 3B have gotten home and made things Facebook official, I'm able to post about being a Saba at will.
3B made things particularly difficult for his mom for most of the last 9 months, which is why I think he is trying especially hard to ingratiate himself to her now. Michelle was sick, nauseous almost constantly, since February. We got to see a lot of Michelle in the winter and spring, because our house was a convenient place to be sick and refuel on her way home to Silver Spring from Brunswick 5 days a week. Michelle continued to work every day, ran a day camp during one of the hottest summers on record, started a new job as a lower and middle school administrator in a special needs day school, all while being pregnant and sick every day. I really don't have words to describe her strength and courage. I'm very proud.
Being married, helpful and supportive to someone who is pregnant, sick and exhausted all day everyday is also a big job. Michelle came home every day exhausted giving her all to her students, campers and colleagues. Mat never once complained. He never once asked for help, though he knew he had back up. He did everything he could to make Michelle as comfortable and cared for as possible. Michelle did a lot of pushing, but Mat did a lot of heavy lifting. I'm very proud of Mat too.
3B already has a pretty well-oiled and experienced village to join. He is already so loved, so showered in kisses. Even before reaching home, loads of laundry had been done, furniture had been assembled, his shul friends already had his house decorated for him. Judy had a car seat base professionally installed at the car dealer "just in case". I hung the mezuzah on his room a couple of weeks ago, made by his great grandmother Marie, so HaShem Yitbarach would know exactly which room to protect.
Erev Pesach 2010, when Michelle was a senior in high school, the 4 Kerbels were in Jerusalem and went to the home of the Rabbanit Kapach, zt"l, to bring a donation of thousands of dollars that we had collected to help fund her Pesach project of providing Passover food staples to over 7,000 families in Jerusalem. I had spent 5 summers studying and volunteering with the Rabbanit Kapach, among others, and I was a regular guest in her home. At the end of that visit the Rabbanit gave both girls a brachah, asking that HaShem Yitbarach grant them a lifetime of chen, chesed and rahamim, grace, kindness and empathy. It's particularly satisfying as a parent to see that blessing fulfilled.
A Shanah Tovah u'Metukah, indeed! A happy and sweet new year to everyone.
