I know it's not obvious without a guide, but there and 3 generations plus an SBD (small, black dog) in this photo. On the right is my left thigh, with Waldo resting his chin on my knee, 3B is sleeping on Waldo and that's Michelle's right leg on the far left.
Grand-parenting is a pretty awesome pursuit, as long as one understands that this is the time in your life when you switch who is in charge in the parent-[adult] child dynamic. This person who more or less has been following your lead for the last two and a half decades becomes the boss of the baby, and as long as you understand that you are not the boss of that new parent or their charge, and you do what you're told, grand parenting is pretty great. I think I've been doing an ok job taking direction so far. I get my time with the little smush, I've been whispering all kinds of wisdom and singing some pretty silly songs to him. It's a fun gig.
I'm about a third of the way through my year of mourning my mother. She would likely be surprised (as maybe I am too) about how faithful I have been about getting to minyan at least once a day, almost always in the morning. Since I wasn't always particularly attentive as a son, it is a little surprising that I've rarely missed a day, unless I've been traveling.
A quick word about that minyan time and what it does for me. Not every prayer experience is transcendental, but some are. It is good to kind-of put my feelings inside of a 30-45 minute window each day, whether those feelings are sadness or annoyance or amusement, close the window and move on with my day. I feel like I'm honoring a lifelong relationship with the dedication of time - I don't think about my mother the whole time, but I rarely go a whole service without thinking of her at some point. The schedule, the regularity of fixed prayer has given me a place to think about and put my feelings, and I rarely think about them any other time of the day. It's working for me.
When I see people I haven't seen in a while, and they remember what I've written, either on Facebook or in this blog, they usually respond with something like "that's quite a roller coaster ride", but really, its just what life is. Bad stuff happens and good stuff happens. Sometimes consecutively (like your grandson being born and your team winning the world series within a matter of a couple of weeks) and sometimes alternately - you lose a job, you get a new job, you get a cold, you get really good chicken soup. I'm not a huge fan of roller coasters, but I'm rather fond of life. Sometimes there is either a streak of bad and then some good, sometimes the other way around. I don't really keep score. I perceive that more good stuff happens than bad because I choose to focus on the good.
Which I guess leads to this time of year and feelings of gratitude. I have a good life. I have a great family with good people in it, and a dog who likes me and is happy to see me, and work that I enjoy and that I find rewarding and challenging, and colleagues who I like to spend time with, who hire me to get to the stuff they haven't gotten to, or want my experience to fix something in their school or program or congregation. I get to teach Torah, to kids and adults and I know that's a privilege. People pay me to drink wine with them and tell them about it. I have friends who keep in touch and friends who don't always keep in touch, but when I need them, they're generally around to be found. I think that's about all we can reasonably expect.
So I think it's good to pause and recognize the good in your life. It can be in a house or worship, or on a trail or in your home at your table on Thursday. It can be directed at your deity of choice, to a life force, to George Lucas' Force, to the fates or to yourself. I'm thankful for who I have and what I have and for what I do. Amen.
