Israeli Weddings

I was privileged to participate in a beautiful Israeli wedding nearly 3 weeks ago.  Israeli weddings are different than Jewish weddings in the US.  This was maybe my 5th Israeli wedding and the first that had me under the huppah.

The wedding ceremony was held outside after a 90 reception. Even after sunset it was nearly 90 degrees Fahrenheit with humidity to match.  The food at the reception was excellent - if it were up to me I’d do the reception followed by the ceremony and then just do a dessert bar - I certainly didn’t need to eat a sit down meal at 10 pm, though again, the food was excellent.

Israeli DJs play their music loud.  Really loud.  Most wedding venues have to be located far from  residential neighborhoods because of the noise problem.  I wasn’t able to stay in the room where the dancing was, and I’m with people and like to talk to them so I spent most of my time outside.

I’ve been to Israeli weddings of 400 guests and no one thinks much of it.  I think anyone the family has ever known or interacted with gets invited.  This wedding was smaller, I’d say about 150 people.  It was a mix of Israelis and visitors, mizrachi and ashkenazi Jews (the Moroccans are genuine party animals and created a very festive atmosphere, but again, very loud).

For the ceremony itself, it’s quick.  No real wedding party, just the parents.  Only 12 chairs in front of the huppah, which means most people are standing, sort of like paparazzi straining for the best position to get a photo.  The officiant has to work pretty quickly, but also, a lot of the explanations that officiants give in the US, for the benefit of secular or non-Jewish guests aren’t necessary in Israel.  The speeches get saved for dinner so there is no long message to the couple under the huppah.

During a difficult time that everyone in Israel is experiencing, having the opportunity to celebrate something and feel old familiar feelings of love and connection were really important. Try the asado beef and don’t forget to tip the bartender.

We Interrupt this series - a d'var Tefilah on giving sight to the blind

 בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה" אֱלֹקינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם פּוֹקֵֽחַ עִוְרִים:

Blessed are You, Ruler of the Universe, Who gives sight to the blind.

One of my favorite lessons to teach about our liturgy is based on a true, personal story I learned from a storytelling master, Rabbi Ed Feinstein.  I’ve shared this story with dozens of teachers in training them to teach prayer with meaning.

Rabbi Feinstein tells the story of going to the radiologist for a PET Scan after completing cancer treatment, and asking the technician if he would say a prayer with the Rabbi,  Rabbi Feinstein recites:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה" אֱלֹקינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם פּוֹקֵֽחַ עִוְרִים:

Blessed are You, Ruler of the Universe, Who gives sight to the blind.

After reciting the blessing, Rabbi Feinstein goes on to explain to the technician. “You are God’s partner.  Without you, my oncologist is blind.  Thank you for your holy work, giving sight to my doctor, who would otherwise be blind, to finish treating my illness.

I’ve taught this blessing so many times in so many ways.  With Danny Siegel, working with USYers, we would frequently brainstorm ways that teens could also be “pokaiach ivrim”, giving sight to the blind.  The teens would suggest raising guide dog puppies, or being a reading buddy or making recorded books available to the vision impaired.  We would talk about the dignity of helping someone achieve independence - those were very special sessions.

If reading this far you’re worried,  don’t be.  I don’t have anything too serious, just a fairly common old man condition - my prostate is 3 to 4 times the normal size for someone my age.  I’ve had two MRIs over the last 2 years and cancer has been ruled out.  I just have a very enlarged prostate (first identified about 3 years ago by my gastroenterologist - do not skip those colonoscopies). It has gotten to the point where this condition was causing regular discomfort, affecting some lifestyle decisions and leaving me unable to have an uninterrupted night of sleep in the past two years.

After meeting with my urologist in May, he told me that if he were in my situation (I had filled out a lengthy lifestyle/symptom questionnaire) he would have Prostate Artery Embolization, a not new but recently more popular procedure.  It’s performed by a specialist that I had never heard of, that my insurance company doesn’t even list its practitioners so that they can be easily consulted, Interventional Radiologists.  I started reading articles online and looking for specialists, calling more than a half dozen medical practices to find an Interventional radiologist who 1) was in my insurance network, 2) was geographically accessible and 3) regularly practiced this procedure.

I found one.

I met the doctor, he ordered an MRI (also giving sight and insight) and we scheduled the procedure.  I had it done yesterday.  It involves some amazing science, and as far as I know, my prostate was never touched.  The doctor goes into an artery (in my case, through my left wrist) and guides a very small tube through the arterial network to the arteries supplying blood to the prostate, first one side and then the other.  Surgical beads are deposited in the arteries on either side, blocking the blood flow to the prostate, and in time, the lack of blood flow causes the prostate to shrink, hopefully resulting in an end to the symptoms I’ve been living with the last two years. Throughout the procedure the doctor is guided by the MRI and an X-Ray technician following the progress of the tube through the arteries.

So like Rabbi Feinstein, I’m grateful, and able to give thanks to the creator of all things, for the intelligence of the humans who created this equipment and this procedure, for the skill of my doctor, his radiology technician and the nurse anesthetist who kept me gloriously sedated throughout the procedure, and to the world we often take for granted because we are in fact, despite everything going on, living in remarkable times.  Neither my grandfathers nor my father could have benefited from this science - it didn’t exist yet. Sight has been given to the blind.

Belated Israel updates coming soon.  Shabbat shalom!